When God Made Moms
When the good Lord was creating
mothers, he was into his sixth day of overtime, when the angel appeared and
"You're doing alot of fiddling around on this one."
And the Lord said, "Have you
read the spec on this one? She has to be completely washable, but not
plastic; have 180
moveable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that
disappears when she stands up; a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a
disappointed love affair; and six pair of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly
and said, "Six pairs of hands ... no way."
"It's not the hands that are
causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers
have to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed
doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already
Another here, in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she has to
know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and
says, "I understand and I love you," without so much as uttering a
"Lord," said the angel,
touching his sleeve gently, "Rest for now. Tomorrow is another day."
"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating something close to
myself. Already I have one who
heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger and can
get a nine year old to stand under a shower."
The angel circled the model of the
mother very slowly. "She's too soft," she sighed. "But tough!" said
the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what the mother can do or
"Can she think?"
"Not only think, but she can
reason and compromise," said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over and
ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told
you, you were trying to put too much into this model."
"It's not a leak," said
the Lord. "It's a tear."
"What's it for?"
"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."
"You're a genius," said
The Lord looked somber, "I
didn't put it there."